I am HIV positive.

Just saying that brief sentence or its alternative

I am living with HIV.

gives people the opportunity to do and say the most remarkable things.

Take for instance, what happened last night or rather early this morning after the Midnight Eucharist in St Patrick‘s Parish Church, Ballymena (Church of Ireland) – one elderly lady was asking after my health, and I said I was okay, not great but okay. When pushed I said that I wouldn’t get better, but would continue to take the medication. When she looked confused, I said that brief sentence. She ended up nearly in tears…

And I have known you for years… oh, I’m so sorry…

Or another instance, a friend from school, who got told over a coffee in Belfast. He asked me what the red ribbon on my lapel was for… he was so positive at supporting. It was great.

Of course, now it is not just me telling friends and acquaintances that

I am HIV positive.

I now have a boyfriend who is learning what it is like to tell friends that you are going out with someone who is positive. I have no idea how hard that can be. But I hope that through all of it, he and I will support each other.

It is not easy living in a serodiscordant relationship. There are always concerns. How do you have a sex life where you have to be so careful all the time. There is no way that I would do anything to harm him. I love him too much for that. But there is always the chance that, despite our best efforts, something will go wrong, and the virus will be passed on. That is the risk that we all take.

However, the risk is no more nor less than anyone takes in having unsafe sex with a partner whose HIV status they do not know. This is part of the reasons that we need properly as a society to face up to the issues; to work to minimise the risks; and I believe that we should have testing much more regularly as part of a normal health check up at doctors’ surgeries throughout the UK.

Facing up to the many reactions that are possible whilst our society does not see it as a problem that they need to face is one of the reasons that I will continue to work with Northern Ireland’s leading HIV charity, The HIV Support Centre to combat stigma, and to ensure that all who are living with HIV in the Province – be they positive or negative partners (or family) – receive the support and care that they need.

Related Articles

• HIV: Living positively (vanguardngr.com)
• Call for HIV tests for under 25s (bbc.co.uk)
• Secrets and lies: Tackling HIV among sex workers in India | Kevin EG Perry (guardian.co.uk)
• Fact and Fiction About HIV Transmission (everydayhealth.com)